Assertiveness is a communication practices aims to cultivate and balance respects for others and oneself in times of conflict or difficult confrontations. Sharon and Gordon Bower developed the DESC script to help individuals develop assertive practices in their book Asserting Yourself.
The ADEARC is a guide inspired by the DESC model and the DEAR model presented by Roy Johnson from the Neutral Zone. The model promotes assertiveness, reduce defensiveness and foster neutral language to promote communication effectiveness.
Acknowledge the moment or emotion for the other side and self
Describe specifically what you saw and heard (i.e. telling jokes about blonds…..)
Explain what is going on for you (i.e. impact)
Ask an appreciative curious question (usually an open question starting with how or what)
Request or state a need for the future
Then…relax, reflect compassionately & appreciatively
Check in – be curious about impact or needs
In times of bullying or harassment, the model is shortened and utilizes “describe” or “request” or “request” only. Be sure to follow up with support.